Forgive me as this post is not about cards, although the last few entries have been more about dealing with my depression/PTSD than cards anyway but I am doing this one on purpose. I did not mean for this site to be a journal about my life outside of cards, just my life involving cards. The climax of this story involves cards and I am using it to take an opportunity to show the disease.
Anyone that follows wrestling and reads wrestling news once a week is probably aware that WWE Smackdown announcer Mauro Ranallo has been out for mental health reasons. A lot of people don’t accept that mental health issues are a disease. I have them and truthfully it has taken me until very recently to truly accept that fact. Something happened to me Saturday to highlight the very fact that it is a disease:
I had one of those 36 hour periods where I can look back and say that I did everything right; something that I haven’t been able to say in years. (Only saying this because it matters to me but it shouldn’t but this is not one of those bipolar highs. I wish that I had those as I would probably be a happier person during those highs instead of constantly down on myself.) The hours were one of those times where even the hiccups were just pebbles in the road; like finding out an hour before something is happening that I was expected to be there. So I am doing work in the house and decide to take a breather and grab the mail. I wasn’t expecting anything so when I see my name on a package, I immediately think ‘oh crap.’ I saw that it was from someone that I sold to on Ebay so my blood pressure goes through the roof for a second. If you read the site you know that I am awful at opening packages or anything, sorry GTS but I still haven’t opened that hobby box you sent me and for the record I am not selling that either. This was a box in front of my door. I don’t even think that I went down the driveway to my mailbox to get the rest of the mail. I ran in and opened the box thinking the worst. Either I was sent a bag of dog poop or they were returning what I sent them. I even had one hand on my mouth ready to go to Paypal for a refund. It was neither dog crap or a return. In it was a paper that said #RAOK. Random act of kindness. Holy crap; and from an Ebay person no less. So I go from horror movie excitement to Disney movie excitement in one swing. I couldn’t believe it. Even without this RAOK I was having a great day, this was the cherry on top. I will post about what was in the box later this week but remember I said this was a post about mental health. I also want to do this person justice for being awesome.
I was being productive but I was still in my head so the time wasn’t perfect. However I had no reason whatsoever to be in my head. I sit down to finish what I was doing and no less than five minutes later I felt my depression trying to come back and ruin the RAOK. I had no reason to be down but I found myself in this internal fight with myself that was trying to keep me down. It feels like with everything that I did and have been doing, I am burned out because I working twice as hard as I should be. (For the record I am not trying to discount what anyone else is going through as we all have our own problems and I know the reality is that no one would want to trade lives with anyone.) I realize that everything that I did on top of me fighting just to be together and a functioning member of society was me working twice, thrice, etc., as hard. When you hear that someone is going through mental health issues, this is a glimpse of what they are going through. Mauro Ranallo might miss a hefty Wrestlemania payday because of similar issues. I wish him, everyone struggling, and everyone in the world the best. We all deserve to be happy and have peace of mind.
Speaking of happy, my next post will be what was in that box and a TL:DR version of this story. I don’t know when exactly that will be, but it will be before the month is up as I don’t want you reading it April Fool’s Day thinking this amazing act was a joke.
So today as I was packing materials to ship, the cats decided to be where I was and play wildly. Normally I don’t mind, heck I embrace it. I haven’t had a chance to pay myself the rewards of it and it feels the only good part is that my cards are going in good hands, as I am only selling cards that are worth more to others than me. Anyway, the house is empty and the cats could’ve played anywhere. They decide to chase each other in an out of my room. It is a two story house, they have lots of places to play. Still they managed to make a few cards fly, thank God they were in toploaders and the kicker: one jumped on my computer and closed my shipping list. The only window that I was using, disappeared. It’s like a million things could’ve happened but I get the one result that pushes me to want to scream. Sure I have been on edge lately but why must the cats act like cats? Joke. I have convinced myself that closing the door and hearing them claw at the door would be more annoying. My logic isn’t sound. Ebay does that to people. Ebay is a drug.
While I am at this little stream of consciousness, I hate buying multiple items from a person and being overcharged. Ebay is aware of this and they take fees out of the shipping charge. Sometimes I even find myself losing extra money because of these fees, nothing major but it adds up. It’s like seriously dude, that one autograph card extra that I bought does not add $2 dollars, or even 50 cents worth of shipping. You could charge me the same price, or a dime more to cover the costs. Which reminds me, you know what I did today? I refunded a person over $30 for extra shipping they paid me. I should’ve given the person free shipping because they were an amazing Ebayer. They paid right away and didn’t wait for me to send them an invoice after they bought a ton of stuff from me so they ended up paying extra shipping. No one does that, this day and age. I know that I wouldn’t. I probably have bad karma coming: when leaving feedback, I rated a lot of people a 3 or lower for shipping costs even before knowing how much it really costs.
I am depressed as heck. I am sick of getting rejected by every job that I apply too. Making ends meet is hard. Being active on Ebay is robbing me of my card collecting passion. I work hard to make a few dollars a day on there but to others it looks like I am hardly working. Heck, updating this site once a week feels like a chore. Any reader that visited this past month can see this. Don’t worry I am not going to do anything stupid. I just want my depression to let me breathe, both metaphorically and physically. I am happy when I working and know that life can only go up from here. I just worry that I will take the first job that will have me instead of getting a decent one. I have a few cards left to finish off my Prestige Basketball 13-14 True Colors set. I might finish that off and just stop with Ebay altogether for a while. I can’t let my hobby be a trigger that finishes my burn out off. I am sorry for not being more active on Twitter or even other parts of the card community. I love the community.
First things first. Ebay gave me 500 free auctions so I used as many as I could before my offer expired. That is how I spent my weekend. More Ebay after I said how frustrated I was with it. I love cards so much so that is the trap that I, and I know that some of you fall in. If you think that my prices are high, compare them to the same exact card; they will be cheaper. I have a ton that aren’t listed on COMC so you can flip them there. I turned a bunch of my Buy It Now’s into auctions; really so I can be done with Ebay. Here are my auctions: http://www.ebay.com/sch/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_ipg=&_from=&_ssn=pandanwh&_sop=1
Doing a NCAA tournament group for a Misery Pack. It’s an ESPN link, and you are allowed 3 entries. Like Ebay we are all smiling until things bet busted.
For starters, I am not bipolar. Not that you need to know but I have been tested extensively on that because of my PTSD. Internet drama can make anyone crazy. I have a few ex-girlfriends who can back me up on that. Now let’s move on to what happened after my earlier post:
– I accepted defeat after the post.
– I went back and forth on Twitter with AskEbay. I wanted to report the buyer for scamming me more than anything. That ended up turning into nothing. No big deal.
– I took it upon myself to look up similar items and message about 30 sellers with bids on their item the following message: “I am sending you this message because I sold a similar item. User “deadshotspokemon ” scammed me because I didn’t physically send him the codes. I messaged them to him on Ebay messaging of all things and he claimed that he never received the codes. The worst part, when he opened a case, Ebay gave him his money back even though he used the codes. Ebay said that I needed a tracking number. I am suggest you send them to whoever buys them to protect yourself.”
Continue reading “Angry: Turn that frown upside down”
How I was screwed on Ebay:
Auction: Pokemon codes.
Order of Events: Seller doesn’t want to pay shipping and says to message him the codes via Ebay messaging. I do that and even follow up two weeks later making sure all the codes work in case I messed up transcribing them. He never replies back.
Two weeks after that, I he opens up a case saying that he never received the item. No big deal I think. He can’t screw me. I send the codes in the case message and say that he can pay shipping to get the physical cards. He never replies.
The case closed yesterday and found in favor of the seller so I lost my money. I have no idea how to check if he used the codes without using the codes myself. So now I have an unsellable product on me.
Ebay’s Twitter, @AskEbay never replied back to me when I told them the situation.
Now today, a seller says the cards got damaged in transit. So now I will probably lose the money and have to pay for them to be returned. Where is the seller protection? I have sold 9 items, 3 have caused problems. I am unemployed and can’t afford to pay for everyone’s stuff. I wish that I could. I am selling stuff that I don’t appreciate so I want it to find a better home.
And while we are at it: I am blocking everyone on Twitter who tags me in sales and never thought to ReTweet my Ebay auctions or card sales. I am over selfish people. Feel free to tag me in your blog posts to ReTweet though. I love hearing everyone’s stories. This will be my post for the week because I am really over things and need a breather. Pardon me if I am distant on social media this week as I really need to recoup my sanity.
Even if I buy a card I need for .99 cents, I still have to pay shipping. Whereas if I sell a card, all I pocket is the card price. So I have to sell at least 2 cards, but usually more for every one card that I sell. http://www.ebay.com/sch/pandanwh/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_ipg=&_from= Here is a big secret on my cards with best offer: I set them to automatically accept certain offers made; and in some cases that is less than half the ‘buy it now’ price.
I am close to completing another part of my Prestige collection. I know this burn out will be worth it. I just need to get through it.
My big need is right now is Larry Bird True Colors jersey.